One Shot for Trial
by August Mayhem
Summary: Trial Oneshot. A time-space anomaly has occured for the second time. Sarutobi dealt with her 15 years ago. Now it's Kakashi's turn to watch as she interacts with his team and their mission.


Story: One Shot for Trial

Author: August Mayhem

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, non-canon stuff is mine. Should I continue the story, this is a continuous disclaimer; I will not re-post it.

--

"Kuso!" Sasuke glared at the scratches that bloodied his arm. "Why the hell does she like Naruto anyway?"

Sasuke was the one who crept up on the orange fur-ball and caught him. Until the moronic thing used his arm as a scratching post and ran off. Kakashi had called them all together then. Naruto held out his arm as he walked to the meeting place.

Tora raced through the trees and leaped onto his arm, curling around his neck. Naruto smiled and muttered comforting words.

"Good girl. You can stay with me for a while, but unfortunately I do have to return you to that nasty woman. Though, if you escape again, see if you can evade detection long enough to find me."

Tora mewled and nuzzled his neck. When Kakashi tried to take her from her spot on Naruto's neck, she swiped a clawed paw across the back of his hand. Kakashi looked at Sakura and she nodded.

Scratching the cat's ears and then stroking her fur, Sakura moved a hand under her stomach and gently lifted her up. Tora glared at the pink haired kunoichi, swiped a paw across her nose and jumped back onto Naruto's shoulder.

Sasuke glared at the cat, after she glared at him, daring him to pick her up. "Stupid cat." Sasuke pointedly looked ahead and moved to walk in front of Naruto.

--

"Aaaaah! My precious little Tora-chan!!! Why would run away from meeee!?!?!" A heavy-set woman, also known as the wife of the Fire's Daimyou, was cradling the poor cat in her arms and nuzzling its cheek.

Sakura looked at the vision in front of her and muttered under her breath, "No wonder she ran away." The three males beside her nodded sagely and pitied the poor cat, all scratches forgiven.

--

The Sandaime looked at Team 7 and then back at his list of D missions.

"You can help clean out Moriano-san's eaves and backyard; paint the Sumuo animal complex." He looked further down the list and a grin broke out on his craggy face. "Oh! Here's one I know you'll all like!"

Naruto was practically jumping up and down from excitement; Sasuke, though uncaring and stoic, was leaning forward just the tiniest bit; Sakura had her fists clenched up by her collar-bone, desperately trying to fight conceal her eagerness.

"The Inuzuka compound needs help cleaning up all their kennels. Normally they would do it themselves, but many of them are on other missions, and there are too many kennels to clean by themselves."

Iruka muffled a laugh at the look of abject horror on all three genin and their jounin instructor. A veritable cloud of gloom and doom was hanging over them, a greenish blue tinge to their faces.

"Or you could help pick up all the garbage-"

"NO! Absolutely not! I'm sick of doing these stupid D-ranked missions! They're nothing but chores! I wanna real mission Ojii-san! With enemies to fight, and to get out of this dumb village!!"

Sasuke and Sakura nodded in agreement, though not with quite the same level of enthusiasm. Kakashi dropped his head the tiniest bit, desperately hoping his student's outbreak wouldn't come back to haunt him.

Iruka snapped out of his chair and opened his mouth the yell at the blonde genin. Sarutobi held up his hand and calmly asked him to go get the client from the antechamber. Iruka nodded and left through a side door.

"Alright Naruto. I'll give you an escort mission. It's not a princess, nor a lord. You -do- need to work your way up to those. Iruka has gone to fetch-"

The rest of his words were silenced as the air from the side of the office suddenly ballooned out and a figure in bright green and yellow burst out, tumbling head over heels until they smacked into the far wall, flat on their back, legs on the wall.

It became obvious at this point that the figure was actually female. Wearing an overly large, bright summer green t-shirt and _only_ a large bright green t-shirt, with ridiculously long, golden hair that currently covered her face.

Sarutobi looked at the girl and narrowed his eyes.

"Owwwww…!" One delicate hand rose up to rub her head. Finagling herself until she was sitting cross-legged, she parted the hair in front of her face. Large eyes the colour of tropical water looked at the people staring at her.

"Uhhh….hi." She gave an awkward wave. Team 7 stared at the young woman, wondering why in the seven hells she'd said yes.

"Haruhi…?" Everyone turned to look at the Sandaime. A beautific grin broke out on Haruhi's face and she practically leapt from her sitting position on the far side of the office, the very centre of the Hokage's desk.

"Oji-san! Hi! How are you? What's happened since I last saw you? Why do you look so old? Where are Jiraiya, Tsunade and that litt-"

The Hokage made a sign and suddenly e voice stopped. Haruhi glared at the old man in front of her. Sarutobi lifted an eyebrow. Instead of trying to talk, she initiated a game of charades, wildly moving her arms about, trying to communicate her thoughts.

Team 7 still stared at the girl with a blank look on their faces.

Sarutobi was getting a headache trying to follow the wild movements of Haruhi's arms and finally gave up and held up his hand again. Her arms stopped.

"If I let go of the chakra keeping your mouth shut, will you promise to calm down?" Haruhi raised a dark gold eyebrow.

Another hand seal and Haruhi stretched her mouth before speaking. "That's the second time you've done that to me."

"That's the second time I've needed to."

"Haha. Very funny. Why do you look so old anyway?"

"Question for a question. What were you playing with before landing here?"

A delicate blush crossed her cheeks and she played with her hair, avoiding his gaze.

"Oh! Ahhhh…You know… just…stuff…" She trailed off hoping the Sandaime would let it go. He didn't.

"What stuff?"

"Well, okay it was actually a carbon base of chemicals that I was trying to infuse with nitrogen and possibly some other chemicals that have a tendency to go boom when mixed together. But that's all I swear!"

She had an angelic grin on her face as she swore her innocence.

Sarutobi palmed his face. "Now why don't I believe that?"

A vague murmur of "Probably 'cause it isn't true." was heard in the silence after. Haruhi let out an awkward laugh.

"Anyways…"

"When did you last see me Haruhi?"

"Uhhhh…about two months ago? Why? How long has it been here?"

"Closer to 15 years." Haruhi stared, wide eyed at the old man in front of her. Her mood suddenly turned somber.

"15 years, huh? So everyone…"

"Died."

A gold head heaved and small tears fell. "I'm sorry Haruhi."

She sniffled and pushed the tears away with the heel of her hand. "It's okay Ji-san." She turned around to the people behind her.

"Sorry to interrupt your meeting! It's nice to meet you all! Have a good day."

And she walked out the same side door that Iruka did and crashed into Tazuna, the client.

"Watch where you're going you stupid broad! I'm the great bridge builder Tazuna of the Wave!"

"Stupid? Broad?" Sarutobi hung his head, knowing what was coming.

"I apologize for being born female, oh great bridge builder! It was something entirely within my control and I most certainly did it to annoy people whose paths I come across!" A sharp crack was heard before a moan of pain.

"You! On the other hand! Maybe if you decided to keep your fat mouth out of the drink until the evening fell, or better yet not at all, you'd be able to walk straight without assistance and could avoid almost crashing into people! "

Iruka stumbled in with an older man who was holding his bloody nose with one hand.

"You should keep your people on a tighter leash Hokage-sama! Especially around paying clients!"

"Actually Tazuna-san, the woman you bumped into is not does not reside in our village." Sarutobi was feeling slightly vindictive after hearing the man's words against his old friend and knew that unless he got Haruhi out of the village, it would spell massive trouble for him.

Doubtless Homura and Kaoru still remembered her last visit.

"She, along with this team here, will be accompanying you back to your home in Wave. They will stay there until you have finished your project. If that is all you need, you are all dismissed. Please meet at the North gate tomorrow morning by 8am. Kakashi, please stay behind."

Iruka went with Tazuna to escort him back to the room he was residing in while in Konoha, and the genin of Team 7 stared at their sensei as they walked out.

Kakashi stood in front on the Hokage, knowing he would explain. Or at least hoping he would. Because he was very confused by everything that just took place.

The Sandaime looked up into a serious black eye. "Doubtless you are curious as to what is going on. Haruhi is an old friend of mine. Suffice to say that she is similar to a Summons in that her time flows differently from ours. And lives in a space different than ours as well.

"The last time she came here was just before the Kyuubi attacked. She is part of the reason we were so disorganized. Though few blame her for that. We were at odds with each other, the village and her when she first arrived.

But we became close friends and she explained and taught me so many things I never could have dreamed. And then one morning she was gone.

Anyway, if you could quickly find her and bring her to see me it would be most appreciated. You may go."

Kakashi nodded and jumped out the window, free-falling until he caught himself and ran across the village roofs. Spying her quickly, it's hard to be innocuous in bright green t-shirt with no pants and long gold hair, he landed beside her with nary a sound.

"The Hokage requests your presence."

Barely batting an eyelash Haruhi continued on her way. "Good for him. But, since I am, as the Hokage pointed out, not a member of this village, why should I come when he calls?"

Kakashi paused, allowing her to take two steps ahead of him before he grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder, creamy legs and (cotton) panty-clad bottom bare for the world to see.

A piercingly loud scream could be heard and many shinobi would tease Kakashi about that moment in the future.

Landing in front of the Hokage once more, Kakashi stood the woman on her feet and made to leave before Sarutobi stopped him.

"What exactly is the meaning of this Hiruzen?" Kakashi's visible eye widened. He'd never heard anyone call the Sandaime by his first name. In fact, not many knew his first name.

"You are far too much trouble to keep around in the village-"

"I already apologized for that! _God_, you people hold grudges a long time!"

"-so I will be sending you out on an escort mission with Kakashi and his genin team."

Haruhi stared at the man in front of her. "…You _do_ realize that I'm not a ninja right…?"

"We call ourselves shinobi." Haruhi brushed the cyclops off. "Same diff."

"Perhaps, but I can hardly have you in the village. Kami knows what you'd do to it before your experiment corrects itself and takes you back. As it is, Kakashi is a jounin and I imagine even the three genin will be able to protect you."

Aquamarine eyes glared at the (most likely) senile man, calmly sitting behind his desk.

"I wasn't worried about being protected you decrepit fleabag, I know how to defend myself! I just don't see the point in going with that stupid drunk! Why not just give me a bit of money and send me on my way?"

Sarutobi slammed his hands on the desk and gave a fierce glare to the young woman in front of him.

"I am the Hokage of this village woman, and you will respect me. I may have aged since I saw you last, but do not mistake that for leniency or frailty. You will receive a small amount of money for which to buy some appropriate clothing and then you will accompany Team 7 and their client. "

Sitting down, he began to focus on the mountains on paperwork that were spilled across his desk.

Haruhi knew she was dismissed and glared at her old friend before storming out of the office. Kakashi tucked his orange book, which he had been reading, into its pocket and began to move out of the office.

"Give this to the receptionist and she'll change it money. Then take that frustrating girl shopping and _please_ don't let me see her before you leave!" The Hokage's voice was pleading at the end and Kakashi wondered about the past between the two that would allow her such liberties with his village's Hokage and would cause said Hokage such aggravating grief.

"Hai." Kakashi grabbed the note, had it changed and then went to find the blonde for the second time in half an hour.

--

Haruhi browsed the store, looking for very specific items. Finding none, she huffed and shoved passed the white-haired ninja, pardon, _shinobi_ that was following her around out the door.

"What exactly are you looking for woman!?" Kakashi groused at her. She'd been doing this for almost two hours. Pointedly ignoring the man she walked into the next clothing shop she saw.

Three hours and all of Konoha's clothing stores later Haruhi stormed her way into a fabric shop, snatched up a few bolts of the colours andfabrics she wanted, grabbed some sewing utensils, slammed the money on the counter and stalked out the door.

Kakashi blanched when he saw her.

"I'm spending the night at your place. Now move." The words were practically growled at him, and as much as he wanted to protest, the Hokage had asked him to look after her. And he didn't feel up to fighting the angry blonde pixie.

Kakashi led Haruhi to his apartment, with each wearing their own scowl, though villagers could only see Haruhi's. They had a clear path the entire way.

--

"What are planning on doing with the fabric?"

The look Haruhi gave him could have curdled milk. "I'm going to make some clothes you nitwit. What the hell else would I do with a bunch of fabric when I'm only wearing a t-shirt?"

Her explanation done, she ignored him in favor of setting up all her materials.

Kakashi fell asleep to the sounds of rustling fabric and dark mutterings from the blonde about Kami-knew what.

--

Eight am, Kakashi was awoken by a very hard something jabbing into his ribs. As it was blunted, he didn't react beyond grabbing whatever was there and pulling it down onto the bed. Eyes still shut, he growled at the thing.

"If you want to continue to live, stop that now." Not expecting a response he left his arm there, pinning the thing down and drifted back to the bliss of sleep.

"Would you rather wake up to a blow job?" A single coal black eye snapped open. The blonde from the day before was pinned half on his bed. She was glaring at him, with a smirk gracing her lips.

Kakashi raise an eyebrow. "And if I said yes?"

"I'd tell you to go find a prostitute. Now let go of me. We have to leave in under an hour and I'm not quite done my morning routine yet." She wriggled underneath his somewhat slack arm and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

"P.S. your coffee sucks ass. Get some better stuff. I dumped your old crap out."

Kakashi growled at her, and Haruhi flipped her hair over a shoulder as she passed through the bathroom doorway.

--

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke met up at the main gate with five minutes until the appointed time. To their imminent shock, there stood Kakashi and the blonde woman from yesterday. Kakashi was scowling through his mask and glaring at the petite blonde. Said blonde was ignoring him with ease as she read his orange book.

"Naruto, Sasuke… Pinch me please! An early Kakashi is a violation of the natural order!!" Both pre-teen males turned, gob-smacked, to look at their female teammate. Naruto slapped his own cheek and Sasuke, who finally had permission, pinched Sakura _hard_.

Both genin yelped and Kakashi rolled his eyes. It wasn't that rare for him to be early.

"I imagine it is. Kids have imaginations, but Duck Ass over there seems to be one of those pouty, serious kids, so if he was surprised, then it's not normal."

Kakashi sent another glare at the small woman beside him. "Are you ever going to give me my book back?"

She smacked the book to his chest. "Here. It's not really that great. I've read way better stuff."

Another, _stronger,_ glare was sent at Haruhi's back as she walked towards the other 3 members of Team 7. It was only then that the genin noticed her clothes were different.

Where she once wore a brightly coloured, baggy t-shirt, there was now a strapless dress that went a few inches south of her apex. The fabric was a dark maroon with trimming done in a gun-metal grey. A swath of lighter grey fabric that circled her tiny waist and tied up front, fell to mid thigh.

The arm guards matched the dress and covered the skin from her upper arm all the way passed her wrists, to loop around her middle finger.

Bracelets and string ornaments hung from her wrists. The pair of heeled boots that went a few inches above slim ankles also matched the colour of her outfit.

A long strip of black cloth wound its way throughout her hair, somehow managing to keep most of the gold mass of Haruhi's shoulders and on her head. Strands and chunks still fell out of place and hung down, but the overall look was wispy and everyone was sure it would fall down sooner or later.

"Hi kids! We didn't get to introduce ourselves yesterday, but I'm Haruhi! " She grinned and stuck out a hand.

It was Naruto who moved first. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Nice ta meetcha Haruhi!" They pumped hands.

"Haruno Sakura. Please to meet you!" Haruhi raised an eyebrow when the pink haired girl bowed at the waist.

"Very cool. I think I'm gonna like traveling with you guys. And Naruto? You rock!" She gave him a thumbs up and walked back to Kakashi.

Tazuna had showed up during their name exchange so the group of shinobi, client and un-wanted passed through the village gates.

Tazuna lead the way, the three genin next, Kakashi behind them and Haruhi was the last to pass through the large gates as she had to pick up her rucksack and sling it over a shoulder.

--

"Maa maaa! It's too hot today!"

"Haruhi-san we're in the shade."

Haruhi deadpanned the younger female. "Sakura I grew up in a place that has snow and cold weather for almost 80% of the year. This is hot for me, okay?"

Sakura nervously smiled and nodded before ducking her head and avoiding looking at the, mildly, intimidating woman.

Said intimidating woman walked up to Naruto and began chatting with him.

"Ne Haruhi-nee-chan, why didn't you introduce yourself to Sasuke?"

A bright grin was his answer. "I already knew his name. I called him by his name. So I didn't really need to be introduced."

Naruto frowned. "I don't remember hearing you say his name. And no one else said it either…So how could you know it?"

A cloth-covered arm draped across his shoulders and in a conspiratory whisper she answered. "Don't you know Naruto? I can read minds!"

Naruto began jumping around her in an excited fervor. "Really?! Can you teach me?"

"I'm afraid I can't. It's something you're either born with or not. But I can tell that you will be a fan-fucking-tastic ninja as you get older!"

"We're shinobi."

"Shut up Kakashi."

"Awww, I already knew that already!!"

"Perhaps, Naruto, perhaps. But do you know why _I_ think so?"

"Because you can recognize my awesome skills just by looking at me?"

Haruhi raise an eyebrow. "….Uh…not quite. But good guess! It's actually because your clothes are bright orange! And bright orange is the BEST!"

Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tazuna sweat-dropped and gave the pair ahead of them a wide berth while the two blondes talked about the sheer awesomeness of the colour orange.

Kakashi looked at Haruhi while pretending to read his book. '…I'm starting to see why Hokage-sama wanted her gone…'

When the two blondes looked back at the larger half of the group and shared devious smirks, the four felt an ominous chill roll down their backs and began to dread the rest of the trip with the blondes.

--

AN: This was a random one-shot 'cause my sister wanted me to write her into a story. Unsure if it will ever continue, but please let me know what you think of it. Thanks for reading!

August Mayhem


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